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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

 
 
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Old 12-16-2014, 07:16 AM   #11
MajestyJo
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
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Quote:
Tuesday, December 16, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift


Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
—Madeleine L'Engle

Sometimes we expect far too much of the people around us, and because no one can ever live up to those expectations, we are almost always disappointed. But wouldn't it be better if we just let go, and let people be who they are? Then we'd be able to see them as they are - with all their beauty and goodness in which we take joy, and with all their faults, which we can also see in ourselves.

When we have put someone up on a pedestal, sculpturing them to fit our needs and desires by smoothing out the rough edges and creating new curves here and there, we cannot see the real person underneath our work. All we see is the illusion we have created. That is denying the person's real identity and is disrespectful. It's much better for our friends and for ourselves if we drop our expectations and illusions, and accept them all just the way they are.

What unfair expectations do I have of others?
To get with the program. I tend to believe that the 12 Steps fits everyone, whether they are an alcoholic or an alcoholic and applicable to all areas of ones life. I apply it to my pain, eating disorder, and have had to take my computer and addiction to busy to my God on several occasions. Earthlings don't always relate or don't want to equate.
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Jo

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