More Recovery Readings - February

[bluidkiti]

February 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
United souls are not satisfied with embraces, but desire to be truly each other. --Sir Thomas Browne
If hugs could melt, if kisses were made of nothing but pure air, if talkers always agreed, and if hearts all beat to the same drum, would we desire any longer to be truly each other? No two leaves on a tree turn the same way in the wind; no two fish in a school tread the same water; and no two people can live the same life. Therefore, when we hug let's leave some space; when we kiss let's allow each other to breathe; when we talk let's permit each other to disagree; when we love let's honor each other's rhythm and way.
Is it our similarities or differences that make us want to know each other better?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Love can be its own reward. --Arnold Label
The feeling of attachment, of being related, of caring about someone, is what life is all about. Before recovery, we may have feared we could not love anyone. When we feel love, we may also feel cheated because our affections aren't returned, as we want them to be. Or we may think relationships are just too complicated and painful. It's true that relationships are difficult at times. The only thing more difficult is having none.
In this quiet moment, let's reflect on our relationships. Close attachments to both men and women are essential to our progress. Without them, we would not be in recovery. We don't need to say to our friends, "What have you done for me?" We can feel an inner fullness and satisfaction, knowing we have relationships we truly care about and we are accepted as we are. That alone is a remarkable reward.
I appreciate the joys my relationships bring.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Being Right
Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are.
That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay; the person who was wrong was shamed. All value and worth may have depended on being right; to be wrong meant annihilation of self and self-esteem.
In recovery, we are learning how to strive for love in our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we may need to make decisions about people's behavior from time to time. If someone is hurting us, we need to stand up for ourselves. We have a responsibility to set boundaries and take care of ourselves. But we do not need to justify taking care of ourselves by condemning someone else. We can avoid the trap of focusing on others instead of ourselves.
In recovery, we are learning that what we do needs to be right only for us. What others do is their business and needs to be right only for them. It's tempting to rest in the superiority of being right and in analyzing other people's motives and actions, but it's more rewarding to look deeper.
Today, I will remember that I don't have to hide behind being right. I don't have to justify what I want and need with saying something is "right" or "wrong." I can let myself be who I am.


Today I am establishing rapport with myself. --Ruth Fishel

******************************************

Journey to the Heart

Your Body,Mind, and Soul Are One

The body, mind, spirit, and emotions are more than just connected. They are one. To nurture the body is to nurture the mind, spirit, and emotions.To nurture the spirit is to nurture the body, mind, and emotions. And so it goes, a continuous connection. A continuing whole.

Do you feel fragmented? Have you disowned a part of yourself? Invite it back. Maybe you’ve focused too heavily on one part and neglected others. You can be a world-class athlete and still not be in touch with your soul. You can be skilled at dealing with any emotion that comes along, and yet not see the delicate connection between that emotion and your conscious thoughts and beliefs. Or you may be so focused on tending to the needs of your spirit and mind that you neglect your body– resent it and think of it as a limitation.

Tend to each aspect of the whole. Do things that nurture your spirit, perhaps spend time in prayer and meditation or time with nature. Work on what you believe; clarify the thoughts that run through your head. Nurture yourself emotionally. Let yourself heal from the feelings of the past, and do what you need to stay current and clear. Listen to your body and give it what it needs– it’s not separate and apart, it’s not a nuisance. It’s the form your spirit created to experience the gift of life.

Find that place of balance in nurturing all parts of you. Then life will begin to be magical and you’ll see what you believe. Your feelings won’t be a bother. They’ll fuel your life; they’ll be the passion that adds color and zest to your life. Your body will lead you instinctively into what you want and away from what you dislike. And the longer you travel the journey to the heart, the more you’ll discover and trust your soul.

Start by becoming connected. If you love yourself and keep walking your path, soon you’ll see how connected you are.

******************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Remember how to play

We don’t stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.
–Herbert Spencer

I was sitting in my back porch watching a group of children playing in the surf. As the waves came surging in, they would turn to face the shore on their body boards and paddle like heck to try to catch the wave. I watched the surf crash down on top of them, one by one. There would be nothing for a few moments but the torrent of water, and then a little while later a green foam board would pop up and a little while later, a laughing head and body. They’d shriek and laugh, then one by one turn around, go back out, and do it again.

Later toward sunset, I saw two gray-haired men in ocean kayaks paddling near the shore. They would wait for the perfect wave and then paddle as hard as they could, trying to catch it and ride it into shore. Again I watched as the waves reared up and crashed down on the little boats. A kayak would get pushed up on the beach, followed a few moments later by a laughing gray-haired man, who would then paddle back out and do it again.

I have a friend in his thirties who is determined to make it. He doesn’t know where he’s going; he just knows that he is going somewhere. And no, he doesn’t have time to go to a basketball game or Magic Mountain. He’s busy and doesn’t have time to play.

I have a friend in his fifties. He’s in excellent health. He sits in his house, feeds the dog, and complains about the pain and the shortness of life. He doesn’t play because his poor body just isn’t what it used to be.

We can play or we can not play. It doesn’t make any difference one way or another, except that at the end, you will have had a much more enjoyable time if you did.

God, help me start having some fun.

******************************************

Influencing the Tone of Your Life
Color

When we enter a room or see an object for the first time, our minds register its color before any other detail. The colors our eyes can perceive are like words that form a subtle language of mood, energy, and insight. Color can exert a gentle effect on the mind and the body, influencing our dispositions and our physical health. Color has the ability to trigger our emotions, affect the way we think and act, and influence our attitudes. You unconsciously respond to the color of the walls in your home, your car, your clothing, and the food you eat based on your body’s natural reactions to certain colors and the psychological associations you have formed around them. The consequences of the decision to paint a room or wear a specific article of clothing therefore goes beyond aesthetics.

The colors you encounter throughout your day can make you feel happy or sad, invigorate you or drain your vitality, and even affect your work habits. Throughout history, cultures spread over many different parts of the globe have attributed varying meanings to different colors. In China, blue is associated with immortality, while people in the Middle East view blue as a color of protection. There is also evidence that human beings respond to color in a very visceral way. Red excites us and inflames our passions. Too much red, however, can make us feel overstimulated and irritated. Pink tends to make people feel loved and protected but also can cause feelings of lethargy. Yellow represents joy or optimism and can energize you and help you think more clearly. Bright orange reduces depression and sadness. Blue and green are known to inspire peaceful feelings, and people are often able to concentrate better and work in rooms painted in soft blues and greens. The darker tones of! both colors can make you feel serious and introspective.

There are ways to integrate color into your life that go beyond picking the hues of your décor and your wardrobe. You can meditate with color by concentrating on the colors that make you feel peaceful or using a progression of colors to symbolize a descent into a relaxed state. Color breathing involves visualizing certain colors as you in inhale and exhale. Choose to surround yourself with the colors that you are attracted to and make you feel good, and you can create an environment that makes you feel nurtured, peaceful, and uplifted. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We learn in The Program that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions, even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. This was the monotonous story of my life before I came to The Program. So in my new life,k I’d do well to consider the long-range benefits of simply owning my emotions, naming them and thus releasing them. Does the voice of God have a chance to be heard over my reproachful shouting.?

Today I Pray

May I avoid name-calling, ego-crushing exchanges. If I am angry, may I try to assign my anger to what someone did instead of what someone is. May I refrain from downgrading, lashing out at character flaws of mindless abuse. May I count on my Higher Power to show me the way.

Today I Will Remember

Tod deal with anger appropriately.

******************************************

One More Day

Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. – Helen Keller

Pity, either from ourselves or others, harms us. yet, sometimes, we allow it to happen.

What we really need from others is empathy — for them to feel as if they were in our shoes. Pity can be a deep pit to fall into, and the climb back out is difficult. We can’t begin to make the ascent until we are fully aware of why we have allowed pity and self-pity to prevail. Maybe feeling sorry for ourselves has been easier than encountering the frustration that may come when we make an effort.

The actions I take today will be based on growth for myself and will help me avoid self-pity.