One Day At A Time - February

[yukonm]

February 14

OZ

"Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have."

Tin Man
Written by Dewey Bunnell, ©1974



These are simple words, and at first glance look like a song from the 'Wizard of Oz.’ However, to me they are complex and have deep meaning.

I have a body, a mind and a spirit; yet for the better part of my growing-up years I thought I had a flaw. I never felt complete and kept searching for whatever-it-was that would make me whole and fix me. I had no idea I was looking in the wrong places; but the real problem was I didn't know what I was looking for.

I never knew how to just 'be' without expecting some kind of negative feedback or teasing or criticism or uncertainty in return. Because I never felt good enough, I learned to 'not be' and to make myself invisible emotionally while eating, and in later years eating and purging.

Coming to OA was like surfacing for air after staying under water too long. People who didn’t know me understood and supported me. I slowly opened up and shared at meetings and did service and stopped hiding, and the void created with food and loneliness began to fill with hugs and support and recovery.

Today I have a Program with wonderful friends who reinforce I am OK as I am. God gave me and continues to give me what I need - physically (help with my food plan), emotionally and spiritually. The miracles in my life keep coming when I least expect them and only when I turn them over to God. Each new miracle and blessing nourishes me.

I began writing professionally again; writing is my passion, and my disease stole it from me. My spirit is happy, and I am grateful to my loving friend who had confidence and faith in me.

One day at a time ...
I am discovering my emerging identity was inside me all the time.

Janie