Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2025

[bluidkiti]

May 26

Quote of the Week

"Don’t compare—identify."

Comparing my insides—how I feel about myself and my life—with someone else’s outsides—what I think they have and the kinds of lives I imagine they are living—has always kept me feeling less than. As I struggled in my career or relationships, I’d see others wearing nice suits, driving nice cars, or enjoying romantic dinners in restaurants. Not only did I not have those outside things, but inside I was miserable, so I kept drinking.

The night I attended my first meeting, my friend advised me to look for the similarities rather than the differences. This was good advice, and when I listened to the speaker’s story, I identified with many of his thoughts, feelings, and actions. Deep down, I thought we had much in common. As I began working the Steps, I began comparing what I had in early sobriety to what I saw others had attained because they had more time sober. Soon I was feeling less than, again.

My sponsor came to my aid. He suggested I stop comparing and that I start identifying with others instead. He told me to listen to people sharing and to identify with their hopes, dreams, struggles, and fears. Once I did, I discovered that despite how different our outsides may be, inside we’re all the same. Today, whenever I’m feeling less than—or more than—I stop and try to identify. When I do, I feel equal to, and that helps me feel a whole lot better about myself.