Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2022

[bluidkiti]

March 14

Quote of the Week

"Is this going to help me stay sober, or help me get drunk?"

When I was a newcomer I asked my sponsor if I could still hang out with my drinking buddies at the bars and still go to parties and clubs like I used to. He suggested that might not be a good idea in the beginning of my sobriety, and that instead I should go to as many meetings as I could. He said it was important to establish a foundation that would support and strengthen my early recovery. I’m glad I took his direction. It was very difficult staying sober during the first six months or so, and the experience, strength, and guidance I found in the fellowship were crucial to me.

After six months, I started attending family barbeques and get-togethers, and I discovered a whole new threat to my sanity and sobriety: long-standing relationships with family members. Unable to deal with the onslaught of old patterns, new resentments, and unhealthy boundaries, I withdrew from those situations as well. Someone suggested I might find some solutions by working the Twelve Steps in Al-Anon. Once again, I took direction and did work that wonderful program. I learned invaluable ways of honoring myself and my process, and by detaching with love, I learned to set appropriate and healthy boundaries.

After many years in the program, I still run into situations that challenge my sanity and sobriety: intimate relationships, work-related events, exciting vacations, sitting in traffic, and so on. Whenever I am unsure of how to behave or what to do, I check in with other sober people and with my sponsor. I remain open to their direction. Ultimately, though, I find their suggestions come down to a very simple question: Is this going to help me stay sober or help me get drunk? Once I answer that question, the choice is clear.