Most of my life was spent breaking, bending, ignoring, and stepping over boundaries. It is hard for me to set them in today, many times I have to reinforce them when it comes to my son. He says I don't understand because he uses many substances and did many things I didn't do. He forgets or chooses to ignore the fact that it is thinking behind his addiction that is the challenge.
For so many years I played the blame game, especially if you put up what I saw as a barrier to what I wanted to do. As I have shared before, "If you are going to pray for me, do it quietly so I don't hear you."
As they say, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." I didn't want to stay in my own space. I didn't like being with me, and I was always wanting 'more' to take me out of myself so I didn't have to look at me or be alone with me.
I couldn't be at peace with me, because I didn't invite my God into my personal space.
