[MajestyJo]

Many times my son has ate in soup kitchens and in shelters, because like you say, you can't cushion the bottom so they want to continue using. I don't mind helping someone who is staying clean. It is another thing to help to allow them to continue to use. Sometimes, with my son it is a hard line to discriminate because the addict isn't always able to be honest with you let alone with himself.

Enabling is allowing the disease to continue unchecked in a person's life. If there are no consequences, why should they stop using.

What I find difficult is when I don't hear from and I don't know if he is alive or dead. Yet that isn't his problem, it is mine. It is my control issues and something I hav been trying to work on. I love him no matter what he chooses to do. I just don't like his actions.

I am always willing to help him if he is willing to help himself. If I do give out money as a response to a plea, then I ask myself 1) Can I afford to give it away and 2) Is my giving him this enabling him to continue using. If the answer is no, he doesn't get. I can't give them to him even when he lived in another province and talks of going back there. He knows what he has to face, he saw a documentary on Hasting Street where he used to live. He like the province, but he can't enjoy the blessing if he doesn't choose sobriety.

The last time I talked to him, he said it all. He wasn't ready to be honest. He never had an open mind and wasn't willing to stay sober. That is his choice, he has been in treatment many times, and he knows there is another way and doesn't want to go there.

This disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful.