Had a guy share at a meeting and say, "I starting making an amend to myself the day I walked through the doors of recovery."
Amends isn't saying "I'm sorry!" It means changing yourself, so you won't continue to make the same mistakes and going to someone and sharing and telling them that you won't do it again. It take a long time for us to get to that stage, it isn't a quick "Sorry! I am out of here." It isn't about the other person, it is about our part and what we did to get us to that situation. It isn't always the drug, but the thinking behind the addiction, and that is what we need to change.
I had a counsellor tell me at 6 years sober, "Why haven't you forgiven yourself?" I stared at her, my mouth was open, and I said, "I never thought to ask." I didn't feel worthy of forgiveness and was playing the martyr and the victim.
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Love always,
Jo
I share because I care.
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