Welcome Traci, a lot of good recovery material here. You may have a drug of choice or be like me, my drug of choice was
more! There is a lot of recovery material here, even if you are not an alcoholic, the word can be substituted with something else. I am an addict, who used prescription drugs, alcohol, men, food, relationships, work/busy, codependent, adult child of an alcoholic, and had a father who died from his alcoholism, my mother died at the age of 40 as a result of her food addiction, and I have a son who is a self-admitted alcoholic and crack addict.
I came to learn it wasn't the substance I picked up, it was an inanimate object until such a time as I chose to pick it up. I have a disease. It was the thinking behind the drinking and drugging that kept me sick. My dis-ease long before I picked up a substance. I had my first drink was a stolen glass of communion wine. I remembered that Ahhhhh! feeling when it hit bottom, and searched for that feeling all of my life. I was brought up in a very strict Christian home and had no access to it. My father went out to drink, and after my Mom died, I became his drinking buddy and used him as my supplier, I would go to the liquor store and bring it home and help him to drink it. I told myself I was saving him from himself.
My first addiction was coca-cola at 14, because it for forbidden, and then when I added alcohol, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. What was my friend became my enemy and just for today, I choose not to use any mind-altering substance that will take me out of myself to make me feel better. I was no longer the great I am, and found I couldn't put people, places, and things there, they became my 'god' and stood between my God's Love.
Hope you will continue to come and share your journey with us.
