Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

Playing The Victim by Jamie Lee Beals

Are we playing the victim?

Are we blaming others for our situation or making excuses for why
things aren't going the way we want them to? Sometimes it's easy
to fall into the victim role, especially in recovery. It's so hard
to own our stuff!

But when we do, it's so liberating and empowering!

Playing the victim is a decision. It is a decision to not live
authentically, to deflect our troubles on something or someone
else. Playing the victim is the easy way out.

Recovery isn't about the easy way out. It's about reclaiming our
lives, reclaiming all of who we are.

Playing the victim is about choosing to stay in the role of the
submissive person who has no control whereas recovery is about
making a conscious decision to change our life. To take control
and fully become who we are meant to be.

What would it be like to say,

"Yeah, I'm having a crappy day and it's because I made some bad decisions"

Or saying

"Why is this happening to me, why doesn't anything ever work out?"

I know exactly what this is like. When I say the first choice, it is
easy to remember that I am responsible for myself, I am in control
of how my day goes, I am the master of my destiny and the choices
I make for myself will determine how successful and happy I am.

When I say the second thing, it completely shuts down my personal accountability.

I step out of living authentically. And what happens is I start to feel
worse and worse, because I don't feel like I am in control of my life,
or have any say over what happens to me.

It's really easy to get sucked into the victim role.

When we switch from a victim mentality to an empowered one, problems become
opportunities.

It's easy to get excited about life and start welcoming and actually
enjoying challenges instead of wondering why things never work out
for us all the time. This shift in perspective and attitude will change
our life and our ability to live fully as who we want to be.

Are we playing the victim today?